We go through life being "open" and "transparent," but in essence, at one time or another, there is something we hide and never let see the light of day, for we are scared of what people might think. We follow the lie that other people don't talk about it, so we cover up and hide in a corner, living our truthful lives behind a mask of insecurity. And eventually, it will kill us. The dam will break, and the cancer cells of life that we so well hid will plunder and ravage in every part and relationship of our life.
Over my spring break, I went with a group called Beachreach to South Padre in order to share the love of Christ with the drunk people. Straight up. And while there, our group of 39 was split into 4 different teams. God had his way in doing so, for as I have seen and what I have heard from other people, each team was beautifully and wonderfully put together by the hand of God. And on my team was a girl who, well, like the rest of us, was special. As I quickly learned, she had (and I quote) "irritable bowel syndrome." And basically, she had no problem at all talking about her condition and how she had to poop. No lie. So on our van, (as you know, we had basically no sleep the entire week,) when we needed a laugh or something to keep us up, we would talk about poop. And I never thought I would be able to say that talking about poop brought us together. Our team opened up to eachother on so many levels, that we could even talk about the poop in our life. Not only physically, but spiritually. We could come to eachother with our spiritual crap, with no masks, and ask for prayer. And because of this openness we shared with one another, God was able to use us for great and mighty things. He sent hard circumstances into our van. He send van loads of springbreakers from UMHB whom i knew by name. And we gave them rides to the clubs and bars they were heading to. Our hearts were broken. We saw past their laughs and shallow smiles, but in their eyes, if you truly looked with all the love in your heart, you could see hurt. You could see a longing to be filled and accepted. A longing to be loved. To see them try to fill that hole with things of the earth......It shattered us. After the springbreakers left our van, we pulled over. And we cried. We cried.
We poured out our hearts to them, we told them how we do not judge them, and how much God loves them. We prayed over them, and we tried to be every bit of Jesus we could be to them. And off into the world they went, trying to fulfill that which only Jesus can cover. As my team, the part of us present on the van, came and met eachother in the middle of the van, we cried and held eachother. For we each knew the hurt pounding in our hearts. We each knew how broken we were.
But yet, in our brokenness, God still works and moves. For you see, there was still an island full of people who needed rides to somewhere, and we could take them there, while pouring over them the love of Christ. So as we all held eachother and prayed, I felt as if God had me in this team for a specific plan and purpose. He was using me as His strength. Yes, we were heartbroken. Yes, our spirits had been moved. Yet through this, we still had a job to do. You see, when Jesus was walking the earth living his ministry, there are several places where Scripture says Jesus was moved by the crowds. I do strongly believe I saw the heart of Jesus which was moved by the crowds who did not know him. But when Jesus was moved, he took action. He would talk to them, he would take care of the crowd. Yes, the van load full of UMHB students hurt and broke us, but God still had a plan. There was an entire island of people here who had similar stories, who all needed Christ. There is a time for everything, but right now God, give us the strength to continue to love. You have set before us a plan and purpose - so may the love and joy of Christ be on our faces, for there is still a world who needs to know you.
That was the heart of my prayer. I could never re-write what God moved in me during that moment, but through prayer, He used me to bring strength to the team. He used me to be an encouragement, a reminder of how much there was to be done. And I give all praise and glory to God for that moment, because I am nothing but a jar of clay, so that the all-surpasing power is from God and nothing of me.
This was just one of the many ways God moved during the trip. There are so many stories and so many people who we came into contact with while on the island. If you want to know more, I would be more than happy to talk to you about it. I like to write, but there is something about the face to face that the internet cannot replace. One thing to take away from everything you read? Be real with your christian friends about the crap in your life. We can't carry it forever.
